How Thanos Disappeared My Ovaries [pt1]

The Hardest Decision of My Life

When I was faced with the decision (under duress? definitely a tight deadline) to remove my ovaries, I had trouble finding resources that could answer my questions. This is why I started this blog. I want to provide info to help women and others who own a pair of ovaries… or a lone ovary (wait is that like a lone wolf? — my brain can’t turn off this image of a lone cartoon ovary that’s a maverick and doesn’t play by the rules). Yep that’s what you’re in for. A story interrupted by my ridiculosity. (yes, that’s a made up word. I’m sure there will be more.) But if you like my weird, you’re in for a treat because I’m making a short animated film about my experience: How Thanos Disappeared My Ovaries: A Documentary.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program…

I asked Dr. Thanos (yes, his real name. Marvel don’t sue me.) what to expect when I no longer have ovaries. All he said was “everyone is different.” He gave me nothing. Like an empty wallet with just dust, a piece of lint, and a paperclip I’ll never use. Scratch that. Not even a paperclip. Not even “here’s a couple things to look out for…” I asked him if there was a woman in his office (he has a decent sized team) that I could talk to and ask some questions. He said no.

What? Are you serious?

For all the doctors that say don’t google medical symptoms, you can suck it, because Google is the only resource that Thanos left me with. (And by suck it, I mean my butt). Because Thanos gave me nothing to start with, this meant that I could only search for information I already knew, which made things much harder. Yeah yeah, I’ve heard all the horror stories about a vagina so dry you can make beef jerky in it or air fry sweet potato fries. But I had no idea that there could be medication interactions with HRT, because my doctor didn’t tell me — even though he knows exactly what medications I take. They are listed in my chart. (AHAHAHAHAAA! I’m laughing because, in my experience, 95% of doctors never read that stack of papers they make us fill out. My Thanos is actually a nice guy, in this universe, but just a bit lacking in meeting my needs.) More on medication interactions later on. But for now, all I knew to search for was “oophorectomy outcome / low estrogen symptoms / menopause symptoms.”

Next Up: My concerns about SEX. Check out Part 2 >